Love Letter #43 | Moving forward

Dear World.

This is a rant.

I don’t know about you, but I’m growing sick and tired of people telling me to get over death because it’s an inevitable occurence.

I don’t think i’ll ever fully comprehend the world view that I’m expected to move on in order to continue living my life after the death of a loved one.

From the world’s view, I gather that moving on should be second nature. If it doesn’t happen as the sun sets and rises then automatically something is wrong with me.

I haven’t moved on…so, am I broken?

I notice as well that if my mounring process isn’t as fast as the world would like it to be, then it seems as though I’m extending the grieving process unnecessarily

A few persons have hinted that I should “get over it”. Some have outrightly said, “You’ll move on. Just give it time”. Like…what does that even mean?

My grandfather and uncle died when I was 18 and my father died when I was 19.

I’ve lost numerous friends in between.

My grandmother died earlier this year, and two friends have passed.

I’m 29.

I’m still grieving.

What was that about time, again?

Does that mean that I’m broken and not functional?

There is no hurdle to jump in order for me to “get over” the death of someone. It’s not a target that I set.

As I see it, the experience of death stays. Even as I go through the stages of grief, I take my dead loved ones (guardian angels) with me in my going and coming.

I see them in living loved ones.

I see them in me.

I feel their presence.

I dream about them.

I get frustrated and experience greater sadness knowing that I can’t have a conversation with them.

I remember their unique scent.

I remember unique traits.

The experiences I had with them in life – I remember in their death.

There’s no way I can move on. It suggests forgetting. How can I forget about the persons who have played important roles in my development?

They are part of who I am.

The grieving continues as much as life goes on.

So you see, there’s no moving on for me. I’ll just move forward and take my guardian angels with me. If that means i’m broken by the measure of the world, then use that. Just know that I couldn’t care less.

Moving forward with love,

Candice

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Simone jones says:

    In order to fully overcome our lost we do so in our own time. Healing takes time; as long as the griever is determine to overcome the pain of the lost and works towards same. Then its one day at a time.

  2. Sharane says:

    Tell them just so sis…nonsense!!! Everyone is allowed to have there own grieving experience…let people be!!! Let people be comfortable in grieving how they see fit. Instead of judging or vocalizing your empty sentiments. Be a listening ear, show compassion and leave the judgemental up to God.
    Sincerely Experienced Griever

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