Suburban Telegram #2 – 3| Search

Dear World

My second-ish Suburban telegram to you requires much reflection (i think).

The message:

No matter what we lose or how much we search for the missing parts to ourselves, we will find that which we do not search for.

The months leading up to my grandmother’s passing were pretty rough. I remember her walking through the hallways, the verandah and rooms of our home at night “looking for something”. Thing is, she couldn’t say what this ” something” was. She never could.

I couldn’t help but think that she lost something one night when she was younger and her subconscious brought the memory (in part) back to her. She found everything except that which she really wanted.

Grandma’s “something” was a needle in a haystack.

Fast forward almost ten months after her passing and I am in search of something.

Recently, I was up late at night searching. Yours truly was about 7/10 going through the same motions as grandma did.

I learned (or maybe relearned) that I have plenty unpacking to do.

The way I bawled out of frustration is cause for concern now that I think about it. I wasn’t sure if I lost it out in the world or at home or if I was just tired and being delusional.

To you:

Whenever you lose items and find new ones – how does the process make you feel?

Another message:

We all have a “something” that we search for. We may or may not find it. But the fact remains that in our search, we will learn about ourselves.

Signed,

Candice