Love Letter #61 | I Jumped Again

Dear World.

First of all…the image you see is not of me jumping into a body of water. I found the image on a free stock photo site that represented the essence of this post and ran with it.

Now that that’s out the way…
I jumped again.

 


I recently revisited the Blue Hole in Jamaica. No, not the one in the parish of Portland. I’m talking about the Blue Hole that straddles the line of St. Ann and St. Mary.

 

A few of my friends and I made the trip and I faced my fear of stepping off the edge and releasing doubt while jumping in. It was beyond terrifying.

 

We’ve Been Here Before

Funny enough, I went to that same place in the summer of 2019 and I faced the same struggles. Yes, in August of 2019, I visited the Blue Hole and jumped.

You’d think that jumping in the same location a few months prior would’ve had me eating each jump for lunch.

But in all honesty, I was scared sh*tless. Haha. Actually, I was even more afraid than I was when I jumped to commemorate my birthday in 2019!

Fun fact: After the first experience, I exclaimed that I’d most definitely do the jumps again in another visit. Silly me didn’t remember that when you put thoughts and desires out, God/The Universe/ Mother Earth/ Yahweh/ Jah/ Buddah works for it to happen.

And so it happened.

 

The Second Time Jumping

Unlike the first experience, I had way fewer people rooting for me. And, in retrospect, that could’ve been part of the reason my fear went into overdrive.

Parts of me depended on that belief and support from others when I still didn’t have wholehearted belief in or show support for myself.

Nothing is wrong with that though.

Having folks in your corner – whether a small or large group – is necessary.


Support from the familiar and the unfamiliar makes a world of a difference. It is so important.

It gives you that extra boost and it lets you know that your loves are there to support you. But, you have to meet them halfway and sometimes more than half.


I experienced lots of “what ifs” and you’re stupid for “wanting to achieve this goal” and “taking that leap won’t change your life“. The thoughts went haywire and the nerves had me stagnant for minutes on end – all while the water flowed below waiting for me to become one with her.

 

I worked my way up to it, though.

And I jumped. And I jumped. Then I jumped again. And again. And again!

Yup, I made five jumps with no one holding my hand! I told myself that I had to do it. I literally had to self talk and say ” Just Do it!”. “You know you can, you’ve jumped before”. “Enough of the risks are calculated. It checks out, you will be fine”.

” Just Jump!”

Though terrifying, it was such a gratifying experience. I felt such a release and freedom while in the air as I made my way into the water.

I will definitely do it again.

Lessons

  • Doing jumps from familiar spaces is never easy the second or third time around.
  • A support system makes the world of a difference in how you perform. (Special thanks to Jehmiel and Chantaeu and also to the unfamiliar Javier and the random foreigners who thought I was so brave. Your encouragement made a world of a difference).
  • Believing in yourself is necessary and important. That belief is part of the reason you will jump. If you doubt your every being, you won’t ever move.
  • Jumping into the unknown isn’t always a bad thing. (After each jump, I saw the near future where I demolished goals and crushed fears).
  • Don’t fight the water! Whatever environment you find yourself in -especially after ‘jumping’ -, move with it. Let the ‘water’ guide you. If you fight it, your exhaustion levels will increase rapidly. Stay calm and breathe!

If you’re in a situation that requires a leap of faith, don’t think too long to the point where you talk yourself out of it. Just Jump.

Remember, Just Do it.

Signed with love,
Candice

 

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