Love Letter #83| I Peed Myself on a Hike

Dear World,

Let me start by saying, I did a hike on day 1 of my period.

Okay.

In the summer of 2020, I went trekking within the Blue and John Crow Mountain range in Jamaica.

Before actually starting the trek, we did a bathroom break.

Yours truly held her pee as we meandered roads to our starting point somewhere ‘behind Jesus’ back’ (far).

We finally got to our destination and the restroom was mother nature. We had to find a corner or a bush to squat and pee.

I did just that. However, in a hurry to get my pants down, I didn’t spread the legs wide enough in the outdoor-pee-squat position.

Before I knew it, ‘river Jordan’ came down and my socks and sneakers fell victim to a shower of piss.

With period cramps, pee-stained footwear and a trek about to begin, I continued to empty my bladder as I tried to reposition while squatting – All to reduce the damage.

It was not embarrassing. No one knew about what happened. Well – my friend, Jhean, she knew. But, no one else knew.

The Trek

We traversed streams and rivers climbed rocks, shimmied through narrow pathways and hopped over questionable ditches (one misstep could’ve led to injury or worse).

FYI – We made it out bruised and sore but no major injury.

I had to pee again

Somewhere along our journey, the urge to pee returned. It was coupled with the period cramps and sheer discomfort.

The group reached a point of the trail where a little old man was outside tending to his crops by his home. I don’t usually do this because – germs. But, I blurted out, “I wonder if he’d let me use his bathroom, I have to go!”.

He obliged. Our trek leader stood guard and I did a 1,2 quick step toward his latrine. Little did I know that my friend followed right behind me. You know she got my back.

I have a secret – well it’s no longer a secret. But, as I quick-stepped to this man’s bathroom, I peed my tights. The entire river didn’t come rushing down but I peed on myself….again.

I managed to empty the rest in the toilet and handled my business. I used baby wipes and tissue to clean up. So, no one knew. Until now.

The pee situation was handled and the trek continued as scheduled.

A History of Pee

I’m now reminded of a time in my young teenage years when I peed my pants at the beach. The why and how I won’t share. Focus on how I dealt with it.

I ran to a water source (the sea) and got everything wet to avoid any kind of ridicule.

A friend of mine, let’s call her Gishreen, recently told me of an incident a few years ago (maybe 2) where she peed her pants as she made her way to classes after work. Luckily for her, she had a lifesaver.

Homegirl had another pair of pants in her car and she was close to the restroom when it happened. The cleanup was uncomfortable but the problem was addressed.

Trust me, her story was sad and hilarious all in one. Her takeaway, however, was that she took lessons from them.

Gishreen’s lessons in pee:

1. Always be prepared. Walk with extra underwear and if you have a vehicle, make sure it’s properly stocked.

2. Things always seem worse than they are. I was mortified but look at me (imagine that she’s telling you) now, laughing about it. Laugh in the face of trouble.

3. The world didn’t end and I’m sure if I needed additional help, the girls (friends from school) would have been super helpful.

4. We should totally listen to kids when they say they have to go (pee) and stop the foolishness about making them hold it. Holding it is torture.


Let’s take it back to when I had no control of my bladder. You know, as a baby and a toddler and also a little older than that. In those days, I had my parents and grandmother and whoever else on hand to clean up the pee.

I was unable to own up to and handle problems on my own. If the cleanup wasn’t done for me by person A, best believe that someone else would do it because it had to be done.


I shared that not just to say as a grown woman, I had bladder based accidents that normally happen to kids, the elderly, the sick and people who refuse to go when they need to go.

This ‘pee-caloptic’ episode was shared to highlight some additional lessons that can bring you through life.

But before I go there, let me introduce some Psychology.

Psychology and Pee

The Father of Psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, in a well-known footnote from Civilization and its Discontents spoke of pee.

I paraphrase by saying this: Men like to extinguish fires. Not with water, but with their pee.

Of course, there’s more to that but it’s not the time or place.

If you know of Freud and his work and well-known views on sexuality, then you’ll sooner or later understanding his reasons for saying men like to out fires with by pissing on them. 😆

I mentioned the act of peeing on fires mainly because we can also pee on our problems as a means of dealing with them. So, piss isn’t always a mess to be cleaned up.


Lessons in Pee

1. You are going to mess up. Sometimes many persons will know, sometimes only one other person will know and sometimes no one except you and your maker.

It’s okay to mess up. Are you gonna wallow in that mess or are you going to keep moving?

That choice is yours.

2. After your initial mess up, you’ll overcome challenges and hurdles which will set you on cloud nine. And then, you’ll see some form of a problem coming at you from a mile away. You’ll do everything in your power to prevent it from happening.

But, guess what? That problem is bound to come. It’s inevitable. So, you’ll mess up another time. Your reaction in this occurrence will affect you and it will affect others. You ultimately decide if you’re gonna handle it with maturity and grace or if you’ll leave the mess and highlight to everyone what happened without providing a solution.

That’s a pissy situation to be in. I say, address the problem and keep it moving.

3. Problems don’t care about your discomfort. They show up small and if not properly addressed, they’ll get larger and become more widespread.

4. Pissy problems aren’t just situations, they also appear as people. Never forget that. Address them accordingly.


Look at it this way, you will unintentionally and ‘proverbially’ pee yourself on multiple occasions. It’s life and it happens.

And, listen. Sometimes, people will pee on you and you’ll have no control over that.

Yes.

Are you going to sit in the pee or are you going to handle it and put measures in place to prevent it from happening again?

Don’t pee on 2021. Not unless it’s a fire and you need the phallic release and satisfaction of dealing with the problem by pissing on it.

Signed,

The Suburban Girl JA

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